{"id":4274,"date":"2023-10-04T17:27:04","date_gmt":"2023-10-04T21:27:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/experience.syracuse.edu\/the-peel\/?p=4274"},"modified":"2023-10-04T17:27:04","modified_gmt":"2023-10-04T21:27:04","slug":"8-ways-not-to-be-an-ally-a-non-comprehensive-list-inspired-by-black-girl-dangerous","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/experience.syracuse.edu\/the-peel\/2023\/10\/04\/8-ways-not-to-be-an-ally-a-non-comprehensive-list-inspired-by-black-girl-dangerous\/","title":{"rendered":"8 Ways Not to Be an “Ally”: A Non-Comprehensive List Inspired by “Black Girl Dangerous”"},"content":{"rendered":"

October has arrived, and that means LGBTQ History Month<\/a> has, too! During this month, we take time to celebrate the achievements and acknowledge the struggles of those within the LGBTQ community. The LGBTQ Resource Center<\/a> is hosting a bunch of programs and events<\/a> this month, and while a few are specifically for folks within the community, there are many in which allies and supporters are welcome to attend. However, in the spirit of support for the community, let\u2019s keep in mind what not<\/strong><\/em> to say to your LGBTQ friends in pursuit of being an \u201cally.\u201d<\/p>\n

1. “I watched ‘Heartstopper,’ and I have a gay cousin, so I get it!”<\/h2>\n

You do not, in fact, “get it.” Consuming LGBTQ media and\/or being related to a queer person does not in any way equate to actively living and knowing the experience of a lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or queer person.<\/p>\n

2. “I’m gay, so I get it!”<\/h2>\n

Once again, you probably do not “get it”\u2014<\/span>or at least not all<\/em> of it. Thinking intersectionally is important: your experience as, say, a white cisgender gay man, has probably been markedly different than that of other folks with multiple marginalized and intersecting identities. And that\u2019s okay! But what isn\u2019t okay is assuming that the LGBTQ experience is a monolith. Conflating these experiences does more harm and distracts us from the real work of uplifting queer and trans voices.<\/p>\n

3. “Oh wow, I couldn’t even tell you were [insert LGBTQ identity]!”<\/h2>\n

And I couldn\u2019t tell you were a\u2026<\/p>\n

4. “It’s not always about your sexuality or gender identity!”<\/h2>\n

But it\u2019s not always about you, either! Sometimes, an identity, experience or perception people have of you can actually inform your interaction with that particular person. So yes, someone\u2019s sexuality or gender identity might indeed be a significant factor in a particular experience they had, and it\u2019s not your place to tell them that they should ignore the part their identities could have played in the situation.<\/p>\n

5. “Hey [insert queer friend’s name], do you know [other queer person’s name]?”<\/h2>\n

Believe it or not, not all LGBTQ people are members of some secret gay mafia that meets weekly to plan our gay agenda and world domination. Do you know this other random straight\/cisgender person? Chances are, unless these people are already within the same circles, they do not know each other just because of their shared identities. But if you want to join an LGBTQ affinity group\u2026 check out what groups the LGBTQ Resource Center hosts<\/a>!<\/p>\n

6. “I don’t think they meant it like that, you should try to see it from their side!”<\/h2>\n

Saying something like this ignores the double (often triple or quadruple) consciousness that LGBTQ people possess. This person has probably already had to consider other people\u2019s perspectives living in a predominantly cisgender-heterosexual world, so believe them and support them in the ways that they express needing support.<\/p>\n

7. “I’m so sorry, I’m straight; if I could change it, I would!”<\/h2>\n

Apart from the fact that apologizing for your sexuality to your LGBTQ peers is an odd move, trying to convince them that you would change this puts them in an awkward position. Why would you try to change that? Goddess knows we don\u2019t want to change our queerness and transness! You’re not like us, but that\u2019s okay! We accept you as you are.<\/p>\n

8. “Hunty, yes, slay the house down boots!”<\/h2>\n

You do not talk like this, and it is soooo<\/em> painfully obvious. You can be in a community with queer folk without these poor attempts of mimicry at best, mockery at worst. Also, let\u2019s not forget that much of what we assume to be queer culture and\/or lingo is actually Black queer culture. You can appreciate a culture without appropriating it!<\/p>\n

Moral of the story: be sure to do your research. Listen to others\u2019 perspectives. If you\u2019re interested in learning more about how to be a good ally, be sure to attend the trainings hosted by the LGBTQ Resource Center<\/a> throughout the academic year, and don\u2019t miss all the great events the LGBTQ Resource Center is hosting for LGBTQ History Month<\/a>!<\/p>\n

This article was inspired by a 2013 blog post by Mia McKenzie<\/a> and her book, \u201cBlack Girl Dangerous: On Race, Queerness, Class and Gender<\/a>.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Written By Erykah Pasha \u201924, Maxwell School of Citizenship and Public Affairs<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

October has arrived, and that means LGBTQ History Month has, too! During this month, we take time to celebrate the achievements and acknowledge the struggles of those within the LGBTQ community. The LGBTQ Resource Center is hosting a bunch of programs and events this month, and while a few are specifically for folks within the…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":324,"featured_media":4277,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[399,398,9,19,106,13,269],"class_list":["post-4274","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-culture-and-identity","tag-ally","tag-allyship","tag-awareness-month","tag-awareness-months","tag-intercultural-collective","tag-lgbtq","tag-lgbtq-resource-center"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/experience.syracuse.edu\/the-peel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4274","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/experience.syracuse.edu\/the-peel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/experience.syracuse.edu\/the-peel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/experience.syracuse.edu\/the-peel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/324"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/experience.syracuse.edu\/the-peel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4274"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/experience.syracuse.edu\/the-peel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4274\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4280,"href":"https:\/\/experience.syracuse.edu\/the-peel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4274\/revisions\/4280"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/experience.syracuse.edu\/the-peel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4277"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/experience.syracuse.edu\/the-peel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4274"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/experience.syracuse.edu\/the-peel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4274"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/experience.syracuse.edu\/the-peel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4274"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}